It finally happened.
A bar girl propositioned me tonight.
My Chicago folks will understand this… esp. my Rogers Park Peeps.
There is this bar across from where I am staying. What it reminds me of is Oaysis, if Oaysis bar flys were prostitutes (well I mean for what I know, they may well be.) These women are nice like everyone at that particular bar is kinda on the rough side. You know how Oaysis is where barflies go to die? I see these women starting to drink at like maybe 10AM, 11AM. They’re dying hair. Short, short dresses where you can see London and you can see France… you know how the rest of that song goes…
Anyway, I’m coming in from getting a massage (that’s another story… the woman was obsessed with my ankle tonight which to be fair, my leg has TOTALLY released and no massage therapist in Chicago has ever gotten my whole leg to totally release… hurt like a MOTHERFUCKER though… it really did). I was looking for someone so I walked by the bar and this bar girl comes running up to me and said:
“I see you. I like your smiiie (smile). You always smiiiie to us. You come sit down have drink with me. Buy me drinks. I show you a good time. Let’s drink.”
OH MY GOD… LMAO… for fuck sake.
Now, mind you, I’ve kinda been waiting for this to happen because as I said, I stick out like a sore thumb, I’m not a girlie-girl, so OBVIOUSLY, I must be a lesbian. (And we know that I absolutely love the cock but the cock don’t love me so fuck cock to hell, I’ll have none, thank you very much. Give me more gas in my motorcycle). So kudos to her for making her move and trying to score an “ATM” even if she happens to be barking up the wrong tree on so many levels. (Hello, where is MY ATM? Huh? LMAO).
But you all know me. As grumpy as I can be, I’m actually super nice and super kind hearted and I stop when most people just walk on by… which obviously gets me into trouble sometimes but also gives me great stories to tell.
So “Pim” (that is her name) is like all over me and telling me that I come another day then and drink and she show me “real good time”. And you know I’m just amused to fuck because even though people here think Americans get offended all the time, I don’t and I’m usually amused by most things unless you’re being rude. She DEFINITELY wasn’t being rude so I was trying to hide my great amusement but yeah, not interested. HAHAHAHA.
So I guess I finally had the same Thai experience that some of the dudes here have- without incurring the “bar fine”.
So yeah, it was just like being at home… if I hung out in Oaysis (being there once in my lifetime was enough), and Oayasis had “entertainment ladies”. (Why hasn’t that dive been closed down yet. I guess because alcoholics are big spenders).
I also REALLY need to do laundry. She was doused in perfume and I can smell it all over my shirt. See guys, this is what gets you in trouble with your wives/girlfriends. You lie about it and we can smell it all over you… I smell like cheap parfume. UGH.
I hope after reading this, you’re all smiiiie-ing as much as I am right now.
Again. For fuck sake!