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I have been suffering from depression. I think it's borderline chronic. Again, no I don't need to see a professional- the problem is "other people" and I've gone over this a million times before over the years on my social media. Beating a dead, rotting horse brings me no pleasure, so I won't do it. Still, over the last week, I realized that I need help because I am deep in it. And the ONLY PERSON who will help me is well, me. There are a few things I identified that do not help.. a few of these things I think are getting better so maybe I can pull out of my tailspin. Whatever weird sick that has been going on affected my ablity to wear contact lenses. I don't wear them so I can't really see most the

Riders WATCHED as woman was raped on train. I just can't. Right now I just can't anymore. Why I want nothing to do with the human race anymore. I have it bad; this woman had it worse. I expect this shit in India. I don't expect it in the US. The world is a shithole. I honestly wouldn't shed a tear if I were up in space going somewhere else and watched the Earth burn. Once I would have

I made a mistake last night. Well, I guess they aren't "mistakes" per say, but learning opportunities. Basically I got into an online conversation last night- the type I said I would steer clear of, but just the ignorance. The refreshing part was to know that "no, its just not Americans that are stupid". The sad part was "no, not just Americans are stupid". I had someone trying to argue with me last night about what was going on in Myanmar/Thailand and they clearly didn't know that Thailand and Myanmar aren't the same country

I finally caught up on a little sleep. Making a little progress getting shit back together, slowly. If you're interested, I'm still doing a jerky order. You need to go here and follow the directions and I'll ping you with an email asking for money like the entrepreneur I am. Friday, I will go back to my Twtich streaming schedule. It will be Final Fantasy XIV so stay tuned! I mean come on

Its been quite the week or so. My father is out of the hospital. Discharged. I don't want to get into it. He's not a nice person. He was nice when he was dying but now that he's better, he's kinda worse than he was before he went in. He's thankful to me because he knows I saved his life last week- but he also said something to me yesterday that was just