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So where is the podcast? Nobody liked it/was listening so it dropped to the bottom of my list of things I needed to do. I am still interested in doing a Podcast/YouTube thing but work has been crazy and as far as social media is concerned, I am well and truly aware that nobody cares about what I have to say anymore. My world gets ever darker and ever more quiet. I'm not terribly happy about this but it's true, you cannot relive the past and I have become it seems: "Irrelevant." So I guess I go back to just the catharsis that writing used to bring me. I keep trying to find it

Back when Tekwh0re.net used to be popular, I had forums. I ran them under Tekwh0re.net and Veritas Parit. I'm tempted to start them again however they don't work unless people actually use them. They were very interesting when I had them. In some ways, I'm trying to rebuild a posse again, I suppose. A group of creative, technical, political, deep thinking cadre of idea sharing and discussion. Twitter is far too short for this. Mind you- Might be Tasty isn't getting the traffic yet either to really begin to start thinking about supporting itself but I'm working on it. Maybe I'm just super nostalgic for the early 2000's. I think people's dumbfuckery was less on display then. I mean here is the real question: Have people gotten dumber or has technology gotten

Crazy awful week- what can I say? I hate drama and politics. Besides wanting credit for work that I have done/created, I want to be a low key, under the radar kinda woman. I don't want to be the queen of anything in corporate America. I mean to me, that is a stupid goal as I would much rather rule life. That being said, things haven't been going well lately. My stress has been through the roof. I'm literally in a situation I have no control over and it's rough. Add in the COVID pandemic and the nonsense that is our current American leadership and that leads to a feeling of being trapped indeed. Wait.. then add to that the EU says Americans might be banned and can we say "trapped and claustrophobic"? Anyway,

I slept like shit. I have massive stress going on right now at work. Add a dash of COVID-19 and not being able to work out or travel, I can't sleep well, I'm fairly certain I have a stomach ulcer and my health is struggling at the moment.  It's got me depressed, down, and feeling defeated. But nothing worse or more than I have been able to take. Its just unpleasant you know? If I get fired, its not the end of the world. Live goes on. You move on, you figure it out. You just cannot get catatonic "woe is me" to the point of inaction. That serves nobody but the Devil. And we make the Devil OUR Bitch, remember? So as stressed out and unhappy as I am right now. As uncertain everything is, I remember

I should be in bed. I start my new job tomorrow and I need to get some sleep but I remembered (late) that I said I would chat with you, well if anyone is actually reading, and if nobody is, maybe I just feel like Sunday night is a good night to pepper the Internet with my personal seed of 1's and 0's. Eventually, someone is bound to get impregnated, addicted, obsessed on what I have to say. Well, at least a woman can hope. I've always said it's good to have hopes and dreams because hope is what gets you up in the morning. Now I was raised Catholic and I'm not going to get into all the nuances within the Catholic Church but I was blessed to have Benedictine sisters and the Benedictine approach in my

Sunday night. Let make a habit that I will always talk to you all for sure, on Sunday night, even if it means I am silent for most of the week. Consistency and habits need to be rebuilt when it comes to my more "thoughtful" internet presence. Its just like if you want to get good at a skill, such as grappling, you have to commit to training no less than twice a week, otherwise why bother? This rule applies to the gym or anything that you want to get better at. The more you do it, the more you start to build a habit, the longer you do it, the more likely it is to stick. Also, when I had tekwh0re.net, I always had 'randoms

Not a good night. And this song popped into my year after 20+ years. Haven't thought of it since high school/college. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHsip5xOenQ Lyrics: People I know places I go Make me feel tongue tied I can see how people look down They're on the inside Here's where the story ends People I see, weary of me Showing my good side I can see how people look down I'm on the outside Here's where the story ends Ooh here's where the story ends It's that little souvenir of a terrible year Which makes my eyes feel sore Oh I never should have said the books that you read Were all I loved you for It's that little souvenir of a terrible year Which makes me wonder why & it's the memories of the shed that make me turn red Surprise surprise surprise Crazy I know, places I go Make me feel so tired I can see how people look down I'm on the outside Oh