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I am so incredibly stressed right now. I keep trying to talk myself down- that part II of this plan won't start until Feb but everything HAS to work out or I am FUCKED. Everything has lined up except for the two things that I knew were coming is now here and the only way I can fix that is if next year, the second part of this works out. I am so stressed, so worried. I gotta make this work

I'm slowly starting to get more productive again.. but not to the level that I think is acceptable for me but slowly but surely, I seem to be getting back to what makes me, me. I've definitely been "Tekwh0re" lately. Won't go into too much detail about that but the NERD has been STRONG in this one lately. I've been doing more things to try to automate my life and secure some other aspects of it. I still have so, so, so much more to do, but its good to at least start to knock out shit that has been on the back burner. I have until January first to have all the shit automated and figured out so that my 2022 is the best year I've had in a long time, even with the

Its been quite the week or so. My father is out of the hospital. Discharged. I don't want to get into it. He's not a nice person. He was nice when he was dying but now that he's better, he's kinda worse than he was before he went in. He's thankful to me because he knows I saved his life last week- but he also said something to me yesterday that was just

Today, this morning, I feel rough. It's been a hellish two weeks with the cumulation of it being Friday. My father is dying. I had to to carry him from his home to down to my car and take him to the hospital on Friday. He's a heavy man. Dead weight that is dying. He wanted to sit as I did it. Begged me to allow him to sit for a moment and I said "NO. I got you. You will get to the car. I got you." And I got him to the car and I got him to the hospital. My mom was in the back seat. Fucking cubs game with the usual fuckards that are around during it. I ended up driving on the I do not give a fuck that Kamala Harris is Joe Biden's VP pick. I don't give a fuck at this point as that I will vote for one most squishy turds as president over Donald Fucking Trump (aka Orange Fucktard).I am not dead. (undead, undead, undead.) Okay, now that we've got that out of the way. I have been as usual, busy with the day to day operations know as the current suck life cycle of an American stuck in America during a time where America "done lost her GOT-DAYUM mind." Which if you follow me on Twitter, I explained that it is a time of little to no options due to COVID, massive unemployment and the racist syphilitic Herr Cheeto in charge. So busy, yet struggling and quite frankly miserable. But I keep trying

More on that topic that was from my podcast this week. Good write up from the NYT about the tensions between China and India. And that Warren Ellis post certainly got a lot of traffic this week. Perhaps people were hoping for more sordid details. There aren't any beyond what I told you and what I remember. I won't be adding my story to that website I linked

The beef jerky is done. Now this is a test batch to see if people like it. How it ships. Etc. When I make it, I have a hard time keeping it around as I eat the hell out of it. MEAT This jerky is chewy, sweet with a bit of a kick to it. Contains: Beef, soy sauce, brown sugar, honey, black pepper, chili flakes, mustard, kick ass. Now here are some notes: "“This product was produced in a home kitchen not subject to public health inspection that may also process common food allergens.” (*this product does not contain any tree nuts, peanuts, or dairy.) Here are some more notes: This is a natural product. There are no preservatives in this product. Due to this reason, it is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED that once you receive the product, you will place it in