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Random thoughts on a rainy Wednesday in November.

I’m slowly starting to get more productive again.. but not to the level that I think is acceptable for me but slowly but surely, I seem to be getting back to what makes me, me. I’ve definitely been “Tekwh0re” lately. Won’t go into too much detail about that but the NERD has been STRONG in this one lately. I’ve been doing more things to try to automate my life and secure some other aspects of it. I still have so, so, so much more to do, but its good to at least start to knock out shit that has been on the back burner. I have until January first to have all the shit automated and figured out so that my 2022 is the best year I’ve had in a long time, even with the heavy financial hammer coming.

Still, I really wish I had people around me that were like me… I could use the motivation and the feeding off other high-energy, focused people. That’s why it used to be easy to be fit- I was around people who were all fit and talked about fitness and did fitness and now I am just around… my cat. I wish I had people around me who were into making money and technology and being fit and that I could bounce ideas off of that could help me and in turn I help them. I never had that. I’ve always been a one woman show. I’ve been around more people who are “no” or “well um, I don’t think…” instead of “Fuck yeah, let’s burn it all down!!” ‘My “fuck yeah, let’s burn it all down” is definitely starting to take control again but it is is hard to be all alone trying to get this all together. I complain about being alone a lot. I’ve had people who want to be in my sphere but they really don’t get me and there are times when I really need people around who get it, get me and I’ve never had that. I burned out, finally. I’m now trying to see if I have one last hurrah left in me before I just say fuck it and walk into a truck due to utter disgust and boredom with the world.

That being said, I am starting to mildly hope I meet some cool people when I go to Antarctica in 2023. I still have more stress than not about being on the boat, but having an adventure always drowns most stuff out. Also, I’m spending a week in Patagonia either before or after the trip… I hope after. I don’t want to go camping first then arctic diving. I rather do that after going to Antarctica but with all the COVID closures and stuff… They are still trying to figure out what the schedule is going to be.

Before then, I’m off to the Yucatan again at the end of January. I’m hoping that I will actually have some decent cave video this time. We shall see. Also, I still haven’t been to Chichen Itza… I was thinking about doing this this trip as a side trip from cave diving… but I am starting to lean more towards spending a night in Mérida as I am starting to do research on places to retire to and I heard this was a good one except I think about global climate change and my dislike of heat. If only they could get all the racist mountain men out of Alaska, that would be great… except as it thaws, I hear that the mosquitos there could put Mexico, SE Asia to shame… which I need to remind myself… see if I need to update any of my tropical shots.

We shall see… I always say I am going to blog a trip, then I don’t really. I’m going to try really hard this time by planning everything now. Hopefully I’ll figure it out and there will be something worth watching.

Also, I’m still waiting to see the Black Friday Deals. I decided to not get a PS5.. I still want a video card but I’m okay right now without it. Everything else that was on my Black Friday list that I HAD to get, I already got due to everything in my apartment breaking at once. So I am waiting to see if there is anything I really want, otherwise the money I saved for Black Friday I’ll just use for my trip to Mexico in January. I’m getting smarter about things… I put away a little money every month in separate accounts. One is marked “Black Friday”. One is marked “Travel”. One is marked “Antarctica” (which isn’t the same as travel because that one is a big deal since it costs so much and there are equipment costs involved in that one too for polar gear, dive gear, etc..).

My birthday is next Tuesday… not that anyone ever gives a shit. 🙁 I wrote a will that said just burn me and dump me in the trash or somewhere that’s allowed since I knew that nobody would care if I was dead. I had to write a will because I keep doing dangerous shit and I just wanted to be sure someone made sure the cat had a nice home if I am no longer here.

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